omariospizza:

hey im at home alone bc no friends
baby: d-d-da dd-de da- dad: daddy? baby: Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.
itspikachan: veganvibez: do you know how scary it is to acknowledge how strong your feelings are for someone and your brain is like “maybe you love them” and you’re like SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT #I THOUGHT THIS SAID BRIAN LOL "SHUT THE FUCK UP BRIAN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT" poor Brian. (via tylerchokely)

itspikachan:

veganvibez:

do you know how scary it is to acknowledge how strong your feelings are for someone and your brain is like “maybe you love them” and you’re like SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT

#I THOUGHT THIS SAID BRIAN LOL
"SHUT THE FUCK UP BRIAN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT"
poor Brian.

(via tylerchokely)

fasterfood: imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine (via australiansanta)

fasterfood:

imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine

(via australiansanta)

thatfunnyblog:

"Who was your first kiss?"
"Trey Songz!!!"
cestpapillon:

krampuslips:

foxes are the most important animals on earth

im going to keep reblogging this until it isn’t cute anymore
saddeer: i can’t wait to not have kids and spend all my money on myself (via fake-mermaid)

saddeer:

i can’t wait to not have kids and spend all my money on myself

(via fake-mermaid)

Mary: hey is that Jesus out of the tomb Jesus: Jesus: Jesus: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now